Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
