If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
