She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Terrible idea I love it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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