but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so let's talk penis.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
