I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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