you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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