Kiss
Puke
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
