I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
