the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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