Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
