What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
