Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
