after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
