New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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