Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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