My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
