I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize