my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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