Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm both gender and math confused
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
