I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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