Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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