look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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