I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
