Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
