More tranny stories later!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
