How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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