Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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