That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
do herpes really smell.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
