Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
