U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
