I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
