Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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