Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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