how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
