quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
