My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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