and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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