8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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