dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
