were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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