Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
