I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
