you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
