Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
