this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
