she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
