If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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