She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just found a bag of teeth...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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