Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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