is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
