We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
