I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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