I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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