how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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