He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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